Why My Husband Has To Share Me With Another Man

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Why My Husband Has To Share Me With Another Man

Now with a title like, “Why My Husband Has To Share Me With Another Man“, I’m sure you are already reading this and wondering what the heck is going on over at that house. 

Well after I got home from going out to dinner recently my husband asked such a simple yet powerful question that really got me thinking, so I thought I would give you a little insight into our unique family dynamic. 

The question he asked was, “How was family dinner?”

Why My Husband Has To Share Me With Another Man

Family dinner with Rick, Reece & I at the Melting Pot.

I know that question may not seem all that deep to you, but it holds a lot of meaning in our blended family.

See, my son’s father, Rick, and I haven’t been in a relationship since not too long after our son Reece was born (almost 13 years). Before Reece came along we were together for about 6 years, from when I was only 17 years old.

I will admit that after Rick and I first split up there was a lot of tension, anger and hurt feelings, which took a couple of years to work through, but the one thing we always had in common and put first was our unconditional love and complete admiration for our son Reece. 

I got married to my husband Keith when Reece was 3 years old, and in full disclosure Keith was always aware of and a huge proponent of my relationship with Rick, as he only ever wants the best for Reece and I. 

When Reece was younger he used to stay with his Dad every other weekend, but as he got older and started going to school, became involved in sports, extra curricular activities and developed a social life, it became harder for Reece to stay with Rick, as we live about 45 minutes away from each other. 

Instead of Rick getting upset and us arguing over time with Reece, or trying to keep up with some schedule that might not be beneficial for Reece, we decided that the three of us would meet for family dinner every week. This would give us a chance, especially now as Reece has gotten older, to talk with Reece about school, sports, friends, and just whatever is on his mind together as a family, so he knows that we are both always there to support and love him, even though we aren’t together. We both agreed a long time ago that we may not be in a relationship, but we want Reece to know that we are always going to be family. 

Family dinner and various outings have become such a ritual in our blended family, and sometimes even my daughter Tatum joins us, as Rick adores her as if she was his own daughter and she adores him right on back.

Why My Husband Has To Share Me With Another Man

Why My Husband Has To Share Me With Another Man

Rick, our son Reece and my daughter Tatum at Dutch Wonderland.

I love when people see our family out together (me, Keith, Rick, Reece and Tatum), and we all get a good chuckle watching other people try to figure out our family dynamic. People are even more surprised when they discover that Rick and Keith are actually friends. 

Do you really want to know why my husband has to share me with another man?

Because life can be very much like a roller coaster ride. Some days there are ups and some days there are downs. Life isn’t always what you think or plan it to be. I never planned to have a child as early in life as I did, and I also never planned on having a child and not being married and having to co-parent.

Co-parenting is not always easy, but I have learned a very important lesson along this journey, that you should never regret something that once made you smile

Why My Husband Has To Share Me With Another Man

Rick and I sending Reece off to a week away at Cadet Camp.

Why My Husband Has To Share Me With Another Man

Rick and I attending Reece’s 4th grade celebration.

My husband Keith is thankfully the most selfless person I know, and he has always understood and even jokes that he has to share me with another man, Rick, because he is our family. He is my son’s father and I wouldn’t trade that or our relationship for the world. Rick is my best friend and I am so happy that we are able to raise our son surrounded in complete support, positivity and love.  

Please leave a comment and share your favorite parenting or co-parenting tip with me. 

  1. I don’t co-parent. My daughter’s father has never been in the picture. I applaud you, Rick, and Kevin. I wish more families were this way. It should always be about the children and what is best for them. Reece is lucky that he has not only 1 but TWO positive male role models in his life.

    Tatum is also lucky. She has two positive male role models as well. She sees first hand what a true man represents. This can only help her later in life.

    • I really appreciate your kind words. You are right that my kids are very fortunate to be surrounded by positive role models who love and support them.

  2. I LOVE this Clarissa! You are so blessed to have such a wonderful family dynamic. You both learned early on what the most important thing is, and it is Reece. I wish more parents would put their children first and see how much it effects the way they turn out as adults. The more love and support, the better for all!!! Thanks for sharing!!

  3. I love reading about your family dynamic. You guys are great parents! I am so glad that your family puts the kids first. That’s all that really matters! Now that I’m in a relationship we’ve had to work out the whole dynamic, but my boyfriend absolutely adores my son and vice versa. I can’t wait to read more 🙂

  4. I’ve always said the three of you have done everything right. You are a shining example of a true loving family and it shows in your beautiful family. Congratulations Clarissa, Rick and Keith. You are an inspiration!

  5. You have truly found peace. I only hope to find this peace with my own blended family..Thanks for sharing. Your children are blessed.

  6. Such a beautiful story Clarissa. It doesn’t always turn out like that and I’m so super happy to hear that your son has two awesome daughters. It was such a big gift for Rick to decide on a family dinner instead of getting mad that his son can’t keep the visitation. You’re such an inspiration.

  7. Co-Parenting is tough. In my family, it’s his kids, my kid and our kid. So it’s the Brady Bunch +1 kinda. So, with all 5 kids, an ex husband and an ex wife – stepping on eachother’s toes is bound to happen. All I can say is time, patience and a lot of hugs. xo

  8. My brother has the same kinda thing going on. He and C, the mother of my nephew, broke up when my nephew was about 4 years old. C then got back together with her HS sweetheart, J. They married and had 2 more children, only J had 2 kids from a previous relationship. My brother not only remains a big part of his son’s life, but the lives of C & J and all the kids. In fact, he and J will take all 5 kids out without C and have a great time!

    I’m close to the other children and just consider them all my nieces and nephews.

  9. I got tearful reading this. I applaud you and your family for making the effort that you have. I am a single mom and I co-parented for years…but it was not easy. It was easier when the boys were from 5 to about 14 years of age. Truth be told…then their dad started changing back into his selfish ways. For the next 2 years, if he saw them it was when I brought them to him (almost 3 hours away). Yes, sports and work and other things began to interfered with the every other weekend arrangement, but I was the one putting in the effort to keep them together. And at the time, I didn’t even realize it. My sons brought it to my attention. They said dad hasn’t been down her in over 2 years. So I made (dad) aware of it and all of a sudden he was down our way. But that was short lived. The boys are not as close with their father as I had hoped they would be now that they are young adults. Their father has been a big disappointment. But we have each other and we keep on striving! So happy for you and your family and may you continue to be blessed.

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