Now with a title like, “Why My Husband Has To Share Me With Another Man“, I’m sure you are already reading this and wondering what the heck is going on over at that house.
After I got home from going out to dinner recently my husband asked such a simple yet powerful question that really got me thinking, so I thought I would give you a little insight into our family.
The question he asked was, “How was family dinner?” I know that question may not seem all that deep to you, but it holds a lot of meaning in our blended family. Let me explain our co-parenting situation and why my husband has to share me with another man.
What exactly is co-parenting?
Co-parenting is the shared experience of raising a child despite not being married or in a relationship together.
See, my son’s father, Rick, and I haven’t been in a relationship since not too long after our son Reece was born (about 15 years). Before Reece came along we were together for about 6 years, from when I was only 17 years old.
I married my husband Keith when Reece was 3 years old. In full disclosure Keith was always aware of and a huge proponent of my relationship with Rick, as he only ever wants the best for Reece too.
Why does my husband have to share me?
When Reece was younger he used to stay with his Dad every other weekend, but as he got older and started going to school, became involved in sports, extra curricular activities and developed a social life, it became harder for Reece to stay with Rick, since we live about 45 minutes away from each other.
Instead of Rick getting upset and us arguing over time with Reece, or trying to keep up with some schedule that might not be beneficial for our son, we decided that the three of us would meet for family dinner every week.
This would give us a chance, especially now that we are parenting a teen, to talk with him about school, sports, friends, and just whatever is on his mind together as a family, so he knows we are both always there to support and love him, even though we aren’t together.
How do you have a good co-parenting relationship?
I will admit that after Rick and I first split up there was a lot of tension, anger and hurt feelings, which took a couple of years to work through.
The one thing we always had in common and put first was our unconditional love and complete admiration for our son Reece, which is why we are able to co parent so well together.
We both agreed a long time ago that we may not be in a relationship, but we want Reece to know that we are always going to be family.
Family dinner and various outings (like this surprise vacation for our son) have become such a ritual in our blended family, and sometimes even my daughter Tatum joins us. Rick loves her as if she was his own daughter and she adores him right on back.
I love when people see our family out together (me, Keith, Rick, Reece and Tatum), and we all get some good laughs while watching other people try to figure out our weird family dynamic.
People are even more surprised when they discover that Rick and Keith are actually friends.
How do you deal with co-parenting?
Life isn’t always what you think, plan or sometimes even want it to be. I also never planned on having a child as early in life as I did, not being married and having to co-parent.
Co-parenting is not always easy, but Rick is my best friend and I am so happy that we are able to raise our son surrounded in complete support, positivity and love.