I was 23 years old when I became a single mom to my son. Life wasn’t easy trying to figure out how to be a parent on my own, but the way he looked at me made every second worthwhile. Fast forward 14 years and now I am getting ready to send the boy who made me a mom off to high school. After a summer full of transition, I had some things I wanted to say to the boy I thought would always be mine.
I never meant for this happen, for you to turn into a teenager right before our eyes. There were so many times I tried to keep my eyes from blinking because every time I did it seemed like yet another year of your life had passed by.
Long gone are the days you would cry inconsolably if I wasn’t within your eyesight.
Those days have been replaced by quick hugs as you run off to sleep at a friend’s house, or a text to check in while you are away for a week spreading your kind heart out into the world.
Remember when piggybacks were our thing? You would bribe me to keep the fun going with your infectious smile. I didn’t let you know it but I held back tears when you gave me a piggyback earlier this summer. We were in Arizona and I mentioned my feet hurt. You scooped me up like it was nothing, the same way I used to be able to do to you.
Some mornings I walk by your room only to find your bed untouched because you didn’t sleep at home.
I forget that the boy I thought would always be mine has created a life that doesn’t always include me.
I watch you do homework and ask if there is anything I can do to help, but instead it is you who often teaches me new things.
To the boy I thought would always be mine, lately people ask if I am sad because you are a teenager now. My answer is no.
One of my greatest pleasures in life has been watching you grow into a young man. I love seeing you go off on your own, spread your wings, travel and create your own moments and memories. You always know in your heart mom is watching you from the wings and cheering you on from the sidelines throughout life no matter how grown up you are.
Your positive vibes, kind heart, and sweet smile is something I wish everyone in life got to experience.
I promise not to cry or remind you of the day I walked you into first grade (at least not until I am by myself) when you disappear through those high school doors next week. Instead I will beam with pride at how far we have come together and the many incredible things you have in front of you to accomplish.
To the boy I thought would always be mine, I recently realized you can’t be all mine, because you have grown into your own person and I am so proud to watch you spread the magic that is you with everyone you meet.