Have you read about why my husband has to share me with another man? Then you are already familiar with my family’s unique dynamics. For many people who meet us and learn of our situation there are sometime whispers, questions and even some negative comments. More recently I have heard the comment that we have a weird family. I want people to know why I wish they would please stop saying you think we have a weird family.
I met my son’s father at the beginning of our first year of college. He was 18 years old, I was 17 and we were immediately inseparable. We were together for 6 years when I gave birth to Reece. Both of us were young, not long out of college and just finding our way in our careers and in life in general.
We had a rocky time adjusting to being new parents together and when Reece was only a few months old our once solid relationship quickly dissolved.
I will admit I tried to hold on to the relationship, despite it being a not great situation, longer than I should have, but I wanted the family for Reece that I imagined in my head.
Keith and I met when Reece was one and we started dating when Reece was about 18 months old. By this time there was so much hurt between Reece’s Dad and I that we were barely speaking let alone being good coparents. Before Keith and I got married he told me that if not for anything other than Reece, his father and I needed to meet, talk and figure out how to get along.
The meeting happened at a Starbucks when Reece was around 3 years old. We talked for hours. We actually communicated and listened to each other about the good, the bad, the hurt and the pain.
The agreement we came to, in order for Reece to be a loving, productive, successful and kind human being, was he needed to be surrounded by support and love, not fighting and resentments.
From that moment on, about 11 years ago now, we rebuilt our friendship. We remembered our love for our son was much stronger than our frustrations with each other.
I have to get this off my chest and say it really hurts my feelings when people see the three of us out together, or hear that we went to dinner or on a trip and comment that it’s weird or our family isn’t normal, especially in front of my son.
Please stop saying you think we have a weird family.
Please don’t tell me how my family’s situation wouldn’t work for you or your significant other.
Please don’t ask why Reece’s Dad treats my daughter like she’s his own.
Please respect the way we have chosen to live our lives as a family and understand we only want the best for our kids in whatever way possible.
Coparenting life isn’t always easy, but we work hard at it and I am proud to say I get to parent my son with my best friend.