Today, 6/11/16, is my son’s 12th birthday and oddly enough it was me who couldn’t sleep last night. I stayed awake most of the night thinking, how do you wish your son a happy 12th birthday?
Since I would never be able to say these things to my son without crying to the point where he wouldn’t even understand what I am saying, I figured it would be best to write my thoughts down.
How do I tell the boy, (who is turning into a teenager right before my very eyes), that he is the person who will always be known for giving me my greatest responsibility and privilege in life, getting the opportunity to be his mother.
How do I tell my son that with each passing year my anxiety increases knowing that our family is getting closer and closer to the day that he will no longer live in our home, and we won’t be graced with his presence and beautiful smile each day?
How do I tell my son that his kindness and good nature never ceases to amaze me?
How do I tell my son that he threw my life the biggest, most unexpected and beautiful curveball when I found out I was pregnant with him not long after graduating from college?
How do I tell my son that he is the kind of person and friend that I look up to and strive to be like each day?
How do I tell my son that no matter what happens in life I will always be there to fix him?
How do I tell my son that he will never ever need any magic or luck, because he is so very special all on his own?
How do I tell my son that his father and I love him so much that even though we weren’t able to make it work as a couple, we have stayed the best of friends so that we can raise him together and make sure he knows he is loved beyond words?
How do I tell my son that when he isn’t around or I haven’t heard his laugh for a little while, life is a lot less fun?
How do I tell my son that I work very hard each day, sometimes going on little to no sleep, so that I can ensure I am able to give him so much more in life than when I was a kid?
How do I tell my son that his little sister and many other children look up to him because he is so patient, caring and easygoing?
How do you wish your son a happy 12th birthday when all you really want is to make time go backwards?
I know how to wish my son a happy 12th birthday.
I will make sure to tell him that he is my very best friend, and I hope that he saves this somewhere to read throughout his life whenever he needs to be reminded of how much he is thought of and truly loved.
I love you Reece.